Welcome, Great and Evil wizard Koschei!
You are the terror of the Earth!
Your diabolical machinations are unparalleled!
But lo, the meddlesome Knights of Malta have pledged to destroy our Unholy Fortress of Maleficence!
Little do they know the terrible secret weapon that lies in wait to bring their doom! Harness the power of the Dragon Gem of Mephistopheles to vaporize these worthless do-gooders, and coat the sands red with their blood! Rend their bodies asunder and leave their entrails for the carrion dogs!
They send footman, knights, archers, and siege engines from all the far reaches of Christendom to destroy us, but we will make mourners of their mothers, all! Soon we will hear nought of their rumblings, but rather delight in the wailing lamentations of their widows!
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